Domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviour designed to control a partner, it can happen at any point in a relationship even afterwards. Anyone who feels they are being forced to behave differently because they are frightened of their partner or ex partners physical or emotional behaviour is experiencing abuse. Abuse can happen to anyone regardless of age, background, gender, religion or sexuality. People often iibelieve domestic abuse they often assume that means that their partner has to have been physically violent towards them. Whilst physical injury may seem to pose the most obvious danger- the consequences of emotionally abuse can be equally as damaging. They can destroy self-worth, lead to anxiety, depression and make you feel helpless and lone. NO ONE should have to endure this kind of pain and your first step to breaking free is recognising you're in an abusive relationship and seeking help and advice. 

Signs that you are in an abusive relationship:
-Physical violence towards you
-Your partner is possessive

- Their personality changes quickly and can be nice one minute and nasty the next

-They tell you what you can wear

-They tell you who you can see

-They constantly put you down

-They play mind games with you and make you start to doubt your own sanity/judgement 

-They control your money
- Pressure or force you to have sex 

- You have to walk on egg shells to avoid making them angry

-They check your phone 

- They use black mail or intimidation to make you do what they want you to do
-They restrict you from seeing your family 



Your abuser or you yourself might justify the abuse by saying you have read about, seen on television, heard someone else tell you their experience and it seems more severe than what you are currently experiencing. 
'It won't happen again.' is a very common phase and when you love someone you want to believe this is true. They may apologise, say that it was in some way your fault for getting them that angry and show extreme care and kindness for a while after the incident leading you into a false sense of security. Statistics show that sadly if your partner is violent towards you once it is highly likely it will happen again. 

Recognising the warning signs of a friend being abused 

- Checking in often with their partner to report where they are or what they are doing
- Frequent texts or calls 
-Frequent injuries with excuses of accidents 
-frequently missing work, school or social occasions without explanation or explanations that seem unusual for your friend
-They seem to have low-self esteem now whereas they used to be confident
-Show signs of anxiety, depression or suicide but won't say why 



If you are in immediate danger call 999

24 hour Domestic violence helpline - 0808 2000 247

Respect Helpline -0808 802 4040
(for those who feel they might be worried they are harming someone else)

Mens advice line- 0808 801 0327

Forced marriage unit- 0207 008 0151

National stalking advocacy- 020 3866 4107

citizens advice- 03444 111 444

Shelter (homelessness) - 0808 800 4444

Samaritans- 08457 90 90 90 

If you are a survivor of domestic abuse, suffering from PTSD, Feel you need help or support with your relationship please contact online therapy on 07540363731 or info@online-therapy.uk for a free consultation.